Amen.

This morning was an unusual one for me. As I curled up the curtains and looked beyond the dusty window screen, my soul was not spared by the gloom that covered the dark sky, the deserted village road, and the withering plants outside. The rain poured in and out, like it was unsure of itself. When I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, I saw an expression of uncertainty. For several years now, I have been lurking in shades of gray ─ baffled, confused, uncertain of so many things. Don't you think it is high time for me to dust off my windows so I may have a clearer view of my own landscape?

I spent this morning reflecting, contemplating, mulling over my spirituality. I checked on my faith. Just like our physical, mental, emotional, and social needs, we also have spiritual needs to nourish and sustain. And I think I have zeroed out on my spiritual aspect. People walk astray, but why?

In this liberal world where I live in, the ground is never stable. No one comes close to fully comprehending the complexities that come with today's times. The view changes everyday until you find yourself standing in crossroads undecided which road to take ultimately. One walks astray from every road because one cannot reach a certain destination through one straight direction. In this journey, there is no map. So how does one manage? 

Well there's faith, and I lost it. I am as lost as my thoughts in this blog entry. 

I believe in God. Believe me, I do. But I don't believe in the church and in their teachings. I turned my back because I think our religious authorities are mere hypocrites. They don't do what they preach. Hypocrites, really. I wish to write no more about this issue. It's just sad and unfortunate that a lot of Catholics are now converting to other religions because of this reality in Catholicism. God is not the problem, his 'anointed leaders' are.

Anyway, I've realized that life is more complicated without faith. We, humans, need something to believe in. Be it a superhero, a fictional character, a social or political leader, a celebrity, or GOD, it is important that we have faith in something because it is what gives us light and direction. Whoever or whatever it is that we have faith in makes us realize who we want to be and how we should live our lives. There's nothing more important than finding one's direction in life. So I am restoring my faith in Him. By doing good, we strive for God. That is all that matters ─ doing good is.

God is good. Amen.